Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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