Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
