i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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