every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
