she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
