I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
