You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
