remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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