The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
