i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
