He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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