i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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