i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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