what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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