Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
