Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
