it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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