Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
