chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
