I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
