so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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