If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
