I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
