Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
