Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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