i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
