You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize