Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
