I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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