he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
