I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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