another moral hangover. fuck.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
