she woke up with a sticky ear
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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