Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
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Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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