It's Friday. Sex?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize