That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
