im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
