Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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