people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
