his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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