i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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