Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
