oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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