i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
