all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
