This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
