Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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