I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
