Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
