Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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