ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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