Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
