I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
