the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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