$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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