not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
