If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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