home. puking in laundry basket.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
