Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All the doctor said was why
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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