I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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