I CAN MOONWALK!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
