you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
